I have been gone for the past week or so. I took my two boys to Tennessee to see my parents and youngest brother and sister. It was beautiful (as usual) but hot and humid. We played in the Tennessee river every day but one and hung out at my parent's house otherwise. There is a school playground nearby, and we went there a few times, but that's it.
The boys had a grand time. They played in the red dirt and got incredibly dirty - always a fun thing for little boys. They played with the hose and got soaking wet. They helped in Grandmama's garden, throwing straw on the weeds and watering. They helped get water from the underground spring, carrying gallon jugs to the car, and finally filling one themselves at the end. They ran around with boundless energy, until they collapsed right about dinnertime each night. They tromped around in the river, throwing innumerable rocks and sticks in as far as they could. They met a few other children and played with them briefly. They saw a turtle swimming by and hundreds of tiny fish. They got to watch their Grandpapa skin and filet a huge catfish - it weighed more than the two of them put together!
In the end, they never wanted to leave. As I packed to go home, they pled with me to just have Daddy come to Tennessee to live, instead of us ever going home. ::Sigh:: I felt the same way. Luckily, they were happy to see their Daddy when we got home. Still, however, when Ron asks them which they "want", Daddy or the Tennessee river, they say the river, unless Ron is looking like he particularly wants them to say "Daddy". They did love the whole trip, and never once asked to come home. I loved it too. I love being near my parents. I miss them terribly. Calling them on the phone just isn't the same thing.
I'd love to move to Tennessee to live near them, but I'm not sure how Ron would like it. There would be endless opportunities to ride his dirt bike and four-wheeler, with or without the boys. But beyond that, and the beauty of the landscape, I see no reason for him to want to move there. Is it possible that he would move simply for my sake (and the boys')? I wish I knew. I wish he would.
Monday, May 29, 2006
Friday, May 12, 2006
Baby Steps
I started out in my relationship with my hubby VERY immature. I have no idea why I was so naive and selfish, but I was.
He was/is such a blessing to me, I am embarrassed to admit how awful I was towards him. He took me on lovely vacations to all sorts of beautiful places, but I got mad at him for neglecting to read my mind and do or say something I thought he should. Yeeks! He worked long and hard hours at work, bought me wonderful presents for birthdays and holidays, but I got mad at him for not being home enough. Sigh! The list goes on and on. No, he's not at all perfect - far from it. But aren't we all? Well, back then I was even farther from it. Luckily, God showed me the error of my ways before we ended up divorced.
I "found" the best book (besides the Bible) that any woman could read, and with God's help, I turned my life around. I did a complete 180 degree turn from what I was. Of course, my life up until then had been one long ride down a slippery slope, and in turning around I discovered it's quite a trek back up to where I should be. But I'm getting there.
My husband has no idea about any of this. He only knows he got to the point of hating me, and then suddenly I started to act differently, and now he's crazy about me. Am I weird not to share any of this with him? Perhaps, but that's just my style. I figure it's good enough if he's happy with me. He doesn't have to know what an effort I put into it. After all, how many women would relate the details of her beauty regimen to her husband? (Actually, I don't currently have one. This in one more thing I need to work on, I guess. So, I really have no idea. Do women share such details?)
So, I'm taking it one step at a time. At the moment, I am concentrating on my housekeeping skills and parenting skills. My house used to be a colossal wreck 24/7. Now, I am beginning to get it under control. My dishes are done regularly. My kitchen is generally clean, though the cabinets are disorganized and the floor needs some stickers removed with alcohol. My livingroom is clean, but for some reason, I'm never happy with it. I think it needs decorating. I have nothing decorative in it at all. The bedrooms are all clean except for my dresser and the boys' closet. (My sewing & art stuff is in there and needs a good home.) The only real problem areas are..
The laundry (which just needs to be kept up better),
The bathrooms (which could use a good scrubbing. They're not disgusting. They're just not as clean as I'd like them to be.)
and The Chinchilla room (which has become the de facto storage room for items with no permanent home. It also needs to be vacuumed like you wouldn't believe.)
I've been trying to train my boys to be more like their father and less like me (naturally lazy slob) by giving them daily chores to do, and rewarding them at the end of the week with a small toy. My 4 year old makes his bed, picks up toys, movies and games, gathers the stray dishes from around the house, cleans (read: scrubs) the coffee table and waters the plants. My 2 year old makes his bed, gathers the stray laundry, throws out any pieces of trash laying around, picks up toys and books and feeds the cats. It seemed like a lot the first day, but after that, they seemed to appreciate the effort it takes to keep the house clean, and have been keeping things from getting too messy to begin with. It's funny. They're actually excited to do their chores most days, and the toys they get to choose from at the end of the week are just little things, like a cup of Play-Doh, a sheet of stickers or a Matchbox car, so I know it's not the prospect of the toy that's making them want to do them. I'm very pleased with both of them. I'm a proud Mama!
He was/is such a blessing to me, I am embarrassed to admit how awful I was towards him. He took me on lovely vacations to all sorts of beautiful places, but I got mad at him for neglecting to read my mind and do or say something I thought he should. Yeeks! He worked long and hard hours at work, bought me wonderful presents for birthdays and holidays, but I got mad at him for not being home enough. Sigh! The list goes on and on. No, he's not at all perfect - far from it. But aren't we all? Well, back then I was even farther from it. Luckily, God showed me the error of my ways before we ended up divorced.
I "found" the best book (besides the Bible) that any woman could read, and with God's help, I turned my life around. I did a complete 180 degree turn from what I was. Of course, my life up until then had been one long ride down a slippery slope, and in turning around I discovered it's quite a trek back up to where I should be. But I'm getting there.
My husband has no idea about any of this. He only knows he got to the point of hating me, and then suddenly I started to act differently, and now he's crazy about me. Am I weird not to share any of this with him? Perhaps, but that's just my style. I figure it's good enough if he's happy with me. He doesn't have to know what an effort I put into it. After all, how many women would relate the details of her beauty regimen to her husband? (Actually, I don't currently have one. This in one more thing I need to work on, I guess. So, I really have no idea. Do women share such details?)
So, I'm taking it one step at a time. At the moment, I am concentrating on my housekeeping skills and parenting skills. My house used to be a colossal wreck 24/7. Now, I am beginning to get it under control. My dishes are done regularly. My kitchen is generally clean, though the cabinets are disorganized and the floor needs some stickers removed with alcohol. My livingroom is clean, but for some reason, I'm never happy with it. I think it needs decorating. I have nothing decorative in it at all. The bedrooms are all clean except for my dresser and the boys' closet. (My sewing & art stuff is in there and needs a good home.) The only real problem areas are..
The laundry (which just needs to be kept up better),
The bathrooms (which could use a good scrubbing. They're not disgusting. They're just not as clean as I'd like them to be.)
and The Chinchilla room (which has become the de facto storage room for items with no permanent home. It also needs to be vacuumed like you wouldn't believe.)
I've been trying to train my boys to be more like their father and less like me (naturally lazy slob) by giving them daily chores to do, and rewarding them at the end of the week with a small toy. My 4 year old makes his bed, picks up toys, movies and games, gathers the stray dishes from around the house, cleans (read: scrubs) the coffee table and waters the plants. My 2 year old makes his bed, gathers the stray laundry, throws out any pieces of trash laying around, picks up toys and books and feeds the cats. It seemed like a lot the first day, but after that, they seemed to appreciate the effort it takes to keep the house clean, and have been keeping things from getting too messy to begin with. It's funny. They're actually excited to do their chores most days, and the toys they get to choose from at the end of the week are just little things, like a cup of Play-Doh, a sheet of stickers or a Matchbox car, so I know it's not the prospect of the toy that's making them want to do them. I'm very pleased with both of them. I'm a proud Mama!
A Lucky Man's Homecoming
How to be a Good Wife - Excerpted from a 1950's high school home economics textbook
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal--on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a life.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up the school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.
Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
Be happy to see him; greet him with a smile and be glad to see him.
Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing, and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind. Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.
Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.
Your goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
***********
Many people consider this article a joke, and it may well be. However, I would personally consider it a blessing to come home to a greeting such as this, and I consider my husband to be worth every blessing I can give him. So, in spite of the derision I likely will encounter, I am trying to make this his reality.
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal--on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a life.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up the school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.
Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
Be happy to see him; greet him with a smile and be glad to see him.
Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing, and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind. Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.
Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.
Your goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
***********
Many people consider this article a joke, and it may well be. However, I would personally consider it a blessing to come home to a greeting such as this, and I consider my husband to be worth every blessing I can give him. So, in spite of the derision I likely will encounter, I am trying to make this his reality.
My Ideal Life
(or What I Want My Life To Look Like)
I wake up early in the morning, and fix breakfast for Ron before he goes to work – if he works first shift. I shower, clean up, and prepare for the day. After breakfast, I teach the children their school lessons. Then we head outside to play. Once a week, I take the kids to the library, the park, or visiting relatives. I get plenty of exercise.
The house is clean. Clutter is put away, surfaces are dusted, and the floors are swept, mopped, and vacuumed. The place fairly sparkles.
Ron comes home from work, and I greet him with a smile and a kiss. In the winter, I have a crackling fire waiting for him, and in the summer, a cool drink. The kids are all clean, and eagerly waiting to see him too.
Dinner is in the oven. Dessert is cooling on the table. We sit at the kitchen table to eat. It’s set with a pretty cloth, flowers, and candles.
After dinner is cleaned up, I give the boys their bath and then settle into a chair with a good book, or a sewing project.
I am happy
I am pretty
I take good care of my children
I take good care of my house
I love to stay active
I wake up early in the morning, and fix breakfast for Ron before he goes to work – if he works first shift. I shower, clean up, and prepare for the day. After breakfast, I teach the children their school lessons. Then we head outside to play. Once a week, I take the kids to the library, the park, or visiting relatives. I get plenty of exercise.
The house is clean. Clutter is put away, surfaces are dusted, and the floors are swept, mopped, and vacuumed. The place fairly sparkles.
Ron comes home from work, and I greet him with a smile and a kiss. In the winter, I have a crackling fire waiting for him, and in the summer, a cool drink. The kids are all clean, and eagerly waiting to see him too.
Dinner is in the oven. Dessert is cooling on the table. We sit at the kitchen table to eat. It’s set with a pretty cloth, flowers, and candles.
After dinner is cleaned up, I give the boys their bath and then settle into a chair with a good book, or a sewing project.
I am happy
I am pretty
I take good care of my children
I take good care of my house
I love to stay active
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
